..and now, seemingly all of a sudden, everything I have ever wanted to do, all of my whistling teakettles on the back burners, imagined adventures, rainy day plans, simple goals, outrageous ambitions, secret aspirations, all rush into my morphing agenda as I sit in contemplation of what to do next. What task, frivolity, or craving will I surrender to in these waning hours, minutes, moments, before my being is consumed once again by the emotional needs, physical nourishment, and spiritual development of another. What do I do? What activity shall I choose? Which list to tackle? What process to implement? Where to go? How will I ever get it all done? Who should I get to help me? Why am I still sitting on this couch…. overwhelmed by all the choices… while time is slowly narrowing down the options?! Is this soul sabotage, or some kind of Zen-like need for nothingness? I surrender!.. I surrender! To anything and everything! I surrender to need… I surrender to desire…. I surrender to myself. I have unsung songs to release and red boots to buy. I have treatments to attempt and sandwich bread that could use fetching. I have gift cards to deplete and loads and loads of laundry to wrap myself up in. Stacks and stacks, bins and bins, of all things imaginable and long left to sort, toss, or redeem if all forces come together in a grand spurt of accomplishment!
As I sit… deciding to check my email… oh, no! Not the vortex of endlessness! Obviously to blog or not to blog superseded the decision, and now… since I'm on the computer and all…..
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